Response to Tutor Feedback Assignment 3

Response to Tutor feedback Assignment 3

Overall Comments

Please note Assignment 3 was agreed to be submitted after Assignment 4.

Thank you very much for my feedback. I am extremely pleased with the feedback which highlighted the progress I have made and demonstrating good practises that are developing. This part of the course was the most developmental for me in terms of confidence and setting/ achieving aims set by the exercise or myself. It was also the most fluid in terms of progress/ process and working structures that I have put in place.

Ways of working have significantly improved and recording what I have researched even if it hasn’t been relevant (no dialog/ opinion to present) it has made me step back to analyse and “make valuable and pertinent connections between research, media, process and the aims”. I am also making lists on excel sheets to streamline and focus work, exercises and also using mind maps.

I feel more confident to ask questions about what I am trying to achieve which has meant that my reflections are more “honed, specific and thoughtful”. I am really enjoying focusing more on the connections I make between my own and other works it’s very inspiring.

I can clearly see the importance of the process of preliminary sketches, research, and exploration of marks and composition and how it feeds into my drawings/ assignments.

The hangout I had after assignment 4 with my tutor was really beneficial as it has really made me think about how the viewer/ audience see’s my work and the visual language it contains.

The approach of building up stages of the drawing is allowing my need to be expressive but convey a sense of reality or a representation of the subject I see.

I am extremely interested low-tech and traditional processes (stains, blots, hand-collage, and drawing) with digital:  print, photography, manipulation, editing and layering -digital collage and would like to explore this further during assignment 5.


Feedback on the Assignment

I am really pleased with the feedback on the assignment.

I will definitely use editing, selecting key elements from each sketch to plan and compose the final outcome. I enjoyed the process cropping photographs/sketches and notations which I can see how help plan the final outcome for future work.

“The way in which you grid, layer and build-up the drawing can be read as an analogy to the construction of a building” I really enjoy this interpretation and was an element of the process of the consideration of marks whilst I was constructing the bottom layer wet media onto the cardboard. I can see how the increase in density of tone / mark (in some areas) and left leaner at the edges conveys a sense of depth, pulling the viewer in and I also find the density of marks changes each time you view the drawing which I find exciting. I need to do more research on the process of considerations of removing or editing from the drawing as this is exciting and a beneficial process. This editing process (what is left out) is as important as the content itself.

I am so pleased with the following comment “This assignment evidences an increased experimentation and confidence in the visual language, mark-making, composition and general analysis and decision-making in the process of making a drawing. Well done”.




Assignment 3 Tutor Feedback (Fourth Assignment Submission Feedback)

Formative feedback

Student name Alison Dollery Student number 515318
Course/Unit Drawing 1 Assignment number Three
Type of tutorial (eg video/audio/written) Written  

Overall Comments

Thank you for the care taken in preparing and organising your portfolio.  The portfolio was supported by a link to the learning log.  Portfolio contents: Two sketchbooks, with a few loose drawings, the assignment, separate exercise and preparation work.

To clarify: it was negotiated to submit Assignment 3 after Assignment 4.

I understand that you have transferred to the Fine Art pathway (from Creative Arts), therefore the assessment statement reflects this.

I will comment upon specific aspects under each of the headings.  In relation to you reflecting on and responding to feedback from assignment 4, you have acted on the feedback and this is informing how you are thinking about, planning and executing your drawings.

There is an increase in confidence in how you explore your chosen materials and this is informing the quality of your mark-making, composition and  building-up of the drawing.  It looks like you are considering how to build-up the drawing in stages.  What is of equal importance in editing and selecting the marks, tonal values and composition to best lead the viewer’s’ eye and convey your aims.

There has been a development in the quality of your reflections and they are much more honed, specific and thoughtful.  You make valuable and pertinent connections between research, your media, process and the aims you are setting yourself.  You are learning to be more concise and focussed in your reflections, whilst offering a deeper quality of analysis- less what you ‘do’ and more on the connections you make on your own and other’s work.

It is clear that throughout this assignment you are learning from the exercises, projects and reflected research.  You are then applying chosen aspects of your learning to the process of setting your aims, experimentation, prep and building-up the drawing.

Well done.

Assignment 3 Assessment potential

 “I understand your aim is to go for the B.A Fine Art Degree and that you plan to submit your work for assessment at the end of this course. From the work you have shown in this assignment, providing you commit yourself to the course, I believe you have the potential to succeed at assessment. In order to meet all the assessment criteria, there are certain areas you will need to focus on, which I will outline in my feedback.”assessment (see Conditions of Enrolment, Section 2 a). Contact the OCA Course Advisors to discuss this further.

   Feedback on assignment

Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Quality of Outcome, Demonstration of Creativity

 You undertook a number of rough preparatory drawings to explore the location, visual language and inform the assignment outcome.  Through your reflection and analysis you thoughtfully approached the planning of the final outcome in a purposeful and interesting way.

Through editing and selecting the key elements from each sketch, you were better able, to plan and compose the final outcome.  Your use of cropping and notations helped in your thought-process and decision-making.  These are good strategies and a practice to take forward and develop as you progress. (see Pointers)

In the final outcome, it’s good to see a rich, variety of mark-making qualities in chalk, charcoal and ink on cardboard.  There is a varied approach to both a lightness and density of working, this offers an interesting narrative in itself to the drawing.

The way in which you grid, layer and build-up the drawing can be read as an analogy to the construction of a building.  The framework of an early grid, dripping of ink and wash provide an interesting structure of marks and surface.  Then increasing in density of tone / mark (in some areas) and left leaner at the edges.  Can you see how this approach works well providing a juxtaposition of leaner aspects against more dense elements of the drawing.  This conveys a sense of depth and interest for the eye.  In future work it would be good to see you developing this consideration for what you choose to leave-out,  remove or edit and also what you put in or overlay. (see Pointers)

This assignment evidences an increased experimentation and confidence in the visual language, mark-making, composition and general analysis and decision-making in the process of making a drawing. Well done.


Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Demonstration of Creativity

There is a lively experimentation across the sketchbooks.  This exploration is across media, digital and hand-drawn processes- evidencing good practice to continue and explore further, as you progress.

The sketchbooks have a sense of a genuine inquiry into media, composition, mark-making and linear qualities. There’s a joy and commitment to the quality of experimentation.  You are drawing upon your learning through this process.

Very good to see you varying your approaches throughout the sketchbook.  This experimentation allied with an analysis of what you are doing, how it’s working and how you can apply this to future work / an assignment outcome, is a valuable, useful process to develop.

The playing with and exploring of digital process and media, alongside wet, staining, blotting and layering offers exciting possibilities.  Ask how you might explore these processes and applications further?  These are ideas that have been emerging as you’ve progressed through the assignments.  This growing interest in low-tech and traditional processes (stains, blots, hand-collage, drawing) with digital:  print, photography, manipulation, editing and layering -digital collage. is exciting.  Are you interested in exploring these juxtapositions further?  (see Pointers / Research)

Ellen Gallagher ‘AxME’ Tate Modern, London

Dr.ME  Cut that out: Contemporary collage in Graphic Design

Wangechi Mutu

Hannah Hoch


Context, reflective thinking, critical thinking, analysis

A good, varied yet pertinent range of primary and secondary sources.

Good consistent Harvard referencing throughout.

You are making connections between your research and the assignment itself.  You are becoming more concise yet purposeful in how you record and reflect on the research.  Continue to develop this as you progress.  This is good practice.

You are asking yourself questions as you progress, and in turn questions of the research you’re undertaking. Your reflection and analysis is deepening and as a result you are sifting and honing what is of purpose and value to your own development and practice.  Good practice to continue and develop.  (see Pointers).

See recommendations on ‘collage’ artists under Research / Viewing.

 Learning Logs or Blogs/Critical essays

Context, reflective thinking, critical thinking, analysis

A well organised and structured blog evidencing your developing progress and the research and reflective analysis..

In this assignment there is a clearer synergy between your thinking, research and the drawing process. This has resulted in an increased confidence in your visual and reflective language.  Do continue to build upon this as you progress- trust to the process and strategies you have developed so far.  (see Pointers)

You have continued to use the blog as a reflective, analytical space. You have improved your logging of research and your quality of thinking.  By becoming more concise and analysing the purpose of asking questions, this has informed how you plan, experiment and make decisions throughout the assignment. Continue to do this through assignment 5 and as you progress.  Good progress here and this is increasing your reflections and drawing process.As you work on Assignment 5 you will need to hone your work for the assessment submission. To select work from across assignment 1 – 5 for your assessment (September submission for November deadline).  Look through the assessment guidelines and plan ahead:

Suggested reading/viewing


Collage including digital and traditional hand processes / combinations:

 Ellen Gallagher ‘AxME’ Tate Modern, London

Dr.ME  Cut that out: Contemporary collage in Graphic Design

Wangechi Mutu

Hannah Hoch

Pointers for the next assignment

  • Reflect critically on this feedback in your learning log.
  • Continue to use your preparatory drawings to help you decide which visual elements and composition you want to take into your final outcome. Ask yourself what these elements may convey: qualities in atmosphere, content / subject matter and tone (psychological or emotional).
  • Explore experimenting with the hand-drawn and digital elements of collage. This is offering interesting opportunities for experimenting.
  • As you progress to assignment 5: Reflect on the strategies and processes that you’ve found successful in this assignment. It is important for you to recognise what you have learned and how you are successfully applying this.  Take this confident approach into ass. 5.
  • Research into the artists working across collage: record which ones you feel some interest / connection with … what aspects interest you, how could you learn from and apply what you notice in your own work? Set some simple tasks to explore these connections.
  • If you haven’t yet started to: reflect and edit your portfolio for the formal assessment:

  • Follow-up on the research suggestions under Research and Suggested Reading / Viewing. Post your thoughts and analysis, and how you might apply this to your own thinking / making to your blog.

Please inform me of how you would like your feedback for the next assignment.   Written or video/audio

Well done, I look forward to assignment five.

Tutor name Cheryl Huntbach
Date 06/06/17
Next assignment due 25/07/17


Assignment 3- Final Version

Assignment 3 Final Version A1 Mixed Media on Cardboard

Queen Square, Crawley 2017 under construction

Above is my finished submission for assignmnet 3. I wasnt sure of the version I finished yesterday and got feedback from the student forum. I got really insightful and helpful feedback, so thank you to everyone that commented. I have added the much more distinction in the foreground with bricks and reflections of the trees on the ground. I am much happier with it as it is much bolder.

Process and Compositional Research

Degas to Picasso Student visit 29th April 2017

I really enjoyed this exhibition and the journey of artists that it moved through. The exhibition featured a lot of drawings. Firstly I focused on a couple of  Lithograph’s and drawings by Theordre Gericault which featured line and wash which was particularly useful baring in mind my tutors recommendations to do so.

The most memorable drawing from the day personally was the chalk drawing by Degas, the line drawing by Picasso. I also spent some time looking at by Juan Gris, I love cubism but it reminded me that I need a top up on my understanding of it. Also the geometric qualities of Jaques Villion Monsieur D Reading 1913 was fascinating to look at try to comprehend technique.


Degas After the Bath 1900 – I love use of colour used within the line (blue), the broad lines gentle use of colour within the figure and the central figure that appears like a statue without context of an abscent bath. I wish I had viewed this drawing before completing the line drawing for Assignment 4.

Degas after the bath

Fig 1 Degas after the bath 1900 Charcoal and chalk on pastel paper.

Picasso, use of negative space and how the curves appear to all link or work together whilst the human figure although out of proportion is still represented clearly.


Fig 2 Theodore Gericults Retreat from Russia 1818 Lithograph

Fig 1 Degas after the bath 1900

Fig 2 Theodore Gericults Retreat from Russia 1818



Beyond the Brush Exhibition Ashmolean 29th April 2017

Before attending the Degas to Picasso exhibition as I arrived early I spent some time in the exhibition “Beyond the Brush” at the Ashmolean. Personally the exhibition has made me think of my own use and marks with ink, for example of  the marks in the Grey Man assignment 4 and how all of this will translate within my landscape work.

The exhibition explored abstraction within Chinese Art. The small exhibition focused on a small number of 20th Century artists that were all members of the Fifth Moon group in the 1960’s that had combined chinese and western art within their work. I was particularly interested as the paintings combined ink, acrylic and college and the work combined but veered away from the “conventional use of the brush and emphasised the importance of personal expression and individual style in search of a new modernity” (Ashmolean 2017).

I have been unable to find the image of “Pastoral Love” (1998)by Ghu Ko/Chu Ge  (b1931), the multiple lines used to create these massive curves for the mountains was beautiful. Below is the closest image of his work I could find although it doesn’t show the vibrant wash of blue, greens and brown colours used within the lines in “Pastoral Love”.

Chu Ko Mounatins

Fig 1 Chu Ko (information un able to translate)

Fong Chung-Ray’s (b1933) Abstraction 1970 was a composition that combined calligraphy ink, textured layers and colour graduations of ink. ” The subtle hues of blue, grey and ink wash in this Landscape painting add abstraction form with rhythmic vitality” (Ashmolean, 2017). Image unable to be displayed, I particularly like the sense and atmosphere of Abstraction 1970 and that the caligraphy marks hint at tree branches, mountains, clouds however this is just my interpretation of the marks.

Abstract Collage 2008 ink, acrylic and japanese paper shows Fong Chung-Ray interest in college that developed after moving to america in 1975. After 1989 the artist “developed his distinguished style that blends the essence of Chinese literati painting and the spirit of modern western art” (Ashmolean, 2017).

Fong Chung ray 2008

Fig 2 Fong Chung-ray abstract Collage 2008, Ink and acrylic on japanese paper.

Other images I viewed included a landscape scroll which had a cropped elongated composition which reminded of the exercise within Robert Kaupelis which experiments with different shaped canvas or paper such as oval.

Fig 1 Chu Ko (information was un able to translate) (accessed 16/05/17).

Fig 2 Fong Chung-ray abstraction Collage 2008 (accessed 16/05/17)

Recent Reading and Research

Drawing now Between the lines of Contemporary Art. Tracey

Drawing now: eight propositions Laura Hoptman, Museum of Modern Art.

Wet on Wet Water Colour Painting Ewa Karpinska, New Holland.

Sky Arts Passions Damien Hirst by Harry Hill.

Sky Arts Passions Albert Giacometti by Stanley Tucci.

Sky Arts Tate Britain Great Walks.. Turner.

BBC 2 Robert Rauschenberg -Pop Art Pioneer.

Bbc Alice Neil Documentary

DIY Inkjet transfers – You Tube

Student work uncovered Robert Wilson Painting 1- Water colour.

12 Tips to improve your artistic composition